I've had a little trouble with Ellie lately--well, maybe more than a little--refusing to go to bed, for naps or at night. I have tried everything that the books tell me to do, from just ignoring her to spanking to giving her choices, etc. etc. I let her know beforehand that it's almost nap time, I let her choose beds, dolls, get a drink, sing to Anson, whatever it is she might want once she gets in bed. But with all of that, she still gets up, throws a fit, screams, cries--you get the picture. The worst part of all of it is that, as good as are my intentions, I end up angry. I am so frustrated with the whole thing and with trying to do the right thing which never works, that I end up angry. Then I leave the situation hating the way I acted, knowing it was wrong but not knowing what to do differently.
So during our morning workout today, my good friends Krista and Lisa were brainstorming with me about what to do. I decided to go with Krista's suggestion to just put her back in bed as many times as she gets up with no talking or anything. This is a type of "taking the sail out of their wind" suggestion I got from a book via my sister Lisa. I have done this with other kids when they learn to get out of their crib, but I've never tried it with Ellie's situation.
So at nap time I told her it was time for nap, put her in bed (amid her yelling that she wasn't tired) and left. Does anyone care to guess how many times I was back? A whopping 76 times!!! Keeping track helped me keep calm. I started out with the determination not to get angry no matter what she did. There was a lot of screaming and crying, and then came the demands. To help keep me calm and mildly amused I wrote them down.
I need a drink!
Cover me!
I need my Cinderella!
I need my Lolly Dolly!
I need my Kitty!
I need my other kitty! (She appealed to Claire for this one.)
Lay me down!
Put my Snow White dress away!
Stay out of my room!
Go away!
Can I eat my sandwich? I'm really hungry!
I want to tell you something!
She has a way about her during these times that makes you think these are legitimate pleas, so I calmly handed her a drink or got her the dolls (they were laying on the floor of her room!) I did not, however, let her eat the rest of her sandwich. I'm not that dumb. But none of it helped and probably just lengthened the time. So next time I won't give in to any demands! But for our first time I think it went quite well!
I'm hoping for under 60 at bedtime and less than 10 demands. Any bets?
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3 comments:
GOOD JOB AMY! I'm guessing a few consistent efforts and she'll know you mean business and that she won't get ANY attention for that behavior. I'm guessing by the end of this week she will be down to getting out of bed only 75 times. HA! JK!
Oh, I seriously feel your pain! Makenna has been doing exactly the same thing. She needs more sleep. She is exhausted and so am I. I have had the same struggles. The worst part is that the last little while she will stay in her room and even stay very quiet so I think she is asleep, but never take a nap. Ahh! What does a mom do? Good luck.
One more comment. Just changed my background. Totally copied yours. Actually, I think it is uncanny that we have such similar taste. Next time I will try to be more original. I still like your headers better.
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